Late Boomers

Merry: 00:01

This is the EWN Podcast Network.

Cathy: 00:14

Welcome to late boomers, our podcast guide to creating your 3rd act with style, power, and impact. Hi. I'm Cathy Worthington.

Merry: 00:24

And I'm Merry Elkins. Join us as we bring you conversations with successful entrepreneurs, entertainers, and people with vision who are making a difference in the world.

Cathy: 00:34

Everyone has a story, and we'll take you along for the ride on each interview, recounting the journey our guests have taken to get where they are, inspiring you to create your own path to success. Let's get started. Hi. I'm Cathy Worthington.

Merry: 00:53

I'm Merry Elkins.

Cathy: 00:55

Welcome to a very special Christmas episode of Late Boomers.

Merry: 00:59

And it's truly special. Kathy and I called the North Pole, and we were lucky enough to get Santa on the phone, and he said he'd be honored to be on our podcast.

Cathy: 01:10

After all, Santa's a boomer too or maybe even older. You hear knock?

Santa Claus: 01:17

Yeah.

Cathy: 01:18

Oh. Oh. He's here. Oh,

Merry: 01:20

it's here.

Cathy: 01:22

Good. Oh, Welcome to all the coolmers. It's Santa. Hello. Santa,

Cathy: 01:29

what's wrong?

Cathy: 01:30

You sound stressed.

Santa Claus: 01:31

Oh, there's paperwork. I'm You

Cathy: 01:33

must be working on your naughty or nice list.

Santa Claus: 01:35

No. No. I'm working on our on our Medicare applications. Original Medicare Medicare Advantage, Medicare supplement, part a, part b, part d, part c, d, e, g, h, h An alphabet lesson? What?

Santa Claus: 01:54

Why? I don't know what to get.

Cathy: 01:56

Anna.

Santa Claus: 01:57

Here here at the North Pole, we have special needs.

Cathy: 02:01

Like what?

Santa Claus: 02:03

Well, you know, we have a lot of jingle bells, so we're starting to feel the effects, me and missus Santa, of a of a 1000 years of jingling. So we need good, hearing aids, and and hearing aid coverage. And and then we have all the cook cookies that we eat. We we need lots of dental care. And and and missus missus Santa often joins me for chimney practice.

Santa Claus: 02:27

So Oh. Yeah. Yeah. So we need a plan that covers unexpected chimney related injuries like soot insulation or or or sudden falls.

Merry: 02:38

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Santa Claus: 02:39

We we don't wanna get stuck in a chimney and stuck with the medical bills too. No. Oh, oh, oh, oh, no. No. No.

Santa Claus: 02:44

No. No. No.

Merry: 02:45

Santa, does does the North Pole even have Medicare?

Santa Claus: 02:49

Oh, that's a good point. We're far, far away, and and we navigate the world. So we we will need a Medicare plan that has worldwide emergency coverage. Yes. Thank you.

Merry: 03:02

Why don't why don't you look for a plan that lets you keep your doctors? And what kind of doctors would the there be?

Santa Claus: 03:11

Elves.

Merry: 03:12

Elves?

Santa Claus: 03:13

Elves. They give us alternative remedies that aren't exactly FDA approved, but but and so we need them. But, you know, they work like magic. In fact, they are magic. And so we need we need a part d drug plan that covers things like, mistletoe oil and snowman sweat tonic and, hot cocoa supplements.

Santa Claus: 03:39

Yo. Can't believe this.

Merry: 03:41

Cocoa? Or maybe you need some help to pick the right plan. Is missus Santa helping you?

Santa Claus: 03:47

No. She lost interest in Medicare coverage when she found out there's no clothing allowance.

Cathy: 03:52

Oh, I think you're getting very stressed out about this, Santa. Christmas is coming. You need to keep healthy. Do you have any way to relax?

Santa Claus: 04:01

Oh, let me think. Yes. Well, I I like yoga and and baking.

Cathy: 04:07

You're a baker? What do you like to bake?

Santa Claus: 04:10

Yes. Snickerdoodles. I I'm the best at work that's snickerdoodles. Oh, yum. Yes.

Santa Claus: 04:16

Yes. I hold an annual tasting event to pair snickerdoodles with different brands of milk. It's every year, it's so genteel. Lovely. Lovely.

Santa Claus: 04:26

Just look. Just lovely. You know?

Cathy: 04:28

Need a couple more judges because Mary and I would love to do it.

Merry: 04:32

Yes. Next time we're at the North Pole. What kind

Cathy: 04:38

what kind of yoga do you do, Santa?

Santa Claus: 04:41

Well, I don't do it. I I watch. It. Yes. The if the reindeer do it, I find it relaxing to watch them do it.

Santa Claus: 04:49

Yes.

Merry: 04:49

What kind of yoga do reindeer do?

Santa Claus: 04:52

Well, there's there's, well, there's the downward dasher, hooves planted firmly and antlers pointed to the ground. And and then there's the milk and cookie pose, but just the opposite. You know, reindeer laying on their backs with their with their legs in the air and and their front hooves facing toward their mouth, like like they're gonna stuff them with snickerdoodles. Rudolph has his own special meditation. It's it's called Rudolph's red nose focus.

Santa Claus: 05:26

It's a meditation pose where Rudolph stares at his own nose, concentrating in order to improve his his mental prowess. Yes. But he must not do it more than 20 minutes because because if he does, the barn bursts into flame. Oh. Can can be dangerous.

Santa Claus: 05:45

Can be dangerous. Fire. Oh. Smoke. Chaos.

Merry: 05:48

Very, very dangerous.

Santa Claus: 05:50

Yes. Yes.

Merry: 05:50

Rain Ranger could get hurt. I'm amazed that you allow Rudolph to do that.

Santa Claus: 05:55

Oh, well, you know, here here Me too. Here here here at the, Sanders workshop, we we accommodate everybody's special needs. You know? We believe in tolerance, diversity, equity, and inclusion. Yes.

Santa Claus: 06:09

Yes. This year, a buffalo showed up for the annual tryouts for the sleigh team. We were all shocked. We're all shocked. I I I told him I told him I said, this is for reindeer.

Santa Claus: 06:21

You're a buffalo. But then he said, I identify as a reindeer.

Cathy: 06:27

Oh, but the reindeer who pull your sleigh have to fly. How could he fly?

Santa Claus: 06:33

He had buffalo wings.

Cathy: 06:37

Oh, okay. So he's going to be flying alongside Rudolph and dancer and prancer this Christmas?

Santa Claus: 06:43

No. No. No. Because the next day, he told us that he identified as a bull. And so I gave him a job in our China shop.

Santa Claus: 06:51

A bull in a China shop. You know what I mean? I hope neither of you asked for China this year. There's not much left unless unless you wanna glue the pieces together. You know?

Santa Claus: 07:00

Nothing left. Nothing left. It's not there anymore.

Merry: 07:03

Well, Santa, that's okay. I have enough leftover paper plates from Thanksgiving.

Santa Claus: 07:11

Well, right now, the elves are making something new for everybody who asked for China. Oh. It's last minute. It's last minute. They don't like last minute.

Santa Claus: 07:20

They're very stressed. It's a lot of pressure they say.

Cathy: 07:23

The elves are stressed too? How are they handling it? Do they have a way of letting off steam?

Santa Claus: 07:29

Well, the week before Christmas, they have their annual snowball fight. You know? It it blows off the steam, but it always gets out of hand. Last year, they mass produced snowballs on the assembly line that I made for the toys. And then when I came back from my lunch break, the entire workshop was frozen.

Cathy: 07:49

Oh, it sounds like they overdid it, Sam.

Santa Claus: 07:52

Yes. Yes. They did. Yes. You you they live on candy, you know, so they overdo it regularly.

Santa Claus: 07:59

I I have found them in sugar comas and bouncing off the walls after drinking too many hot cocoa shots. 1 year, a group of elves got so hyper that they wrapped themselves in gift paper and declared themselves to be presents.

Merry: 08:15

Elves? As Christians?

Santa Claus: 08:17

Yes.

Merry: 08:18

Wait. They were going to give themselves away as gifts?

Santa Claus: 08:21

Yes. Yes. They were serious about it. Yes. They're not very realistic.

Santa Claus: 08:26

They all you know, 1 year they tried to wrap a real life giraffe in gift paper.

Merry: 08:31

Oh, giraffe. Yeah.

Santa Claus: 08:32

Yes. Yes. Everybody knows that if you're gonna give a giraffe as a present, you have to put it in a box first. Right. Right?

Santa Claus: 08:39

Right? Another time, a family asked for a cruise to go to Alaska, and the elves tried to wrap a cruise ship.

Merry: 08:48

Wait a second. Wait a second. There's a huge difference between a cruise and a cruise ship. That's a big mistake.

Santa Claus: 08:55

Yes. Yes. Well, it's not as bad as some of the other boo boos they've made over the years. How how about the time they hacked the Christmas database and made the naughty list disappear?

Cathy: 09:05

Oh. Chaos and shoot.

Santa Claus: 09:08

Chaos. It was chaos. Or or when they accidentally programmed the sleigh to stop at every Taco Bell in the world. I ate so many I ate so many tacos that I got stuck in every chimney that night.

Cathy: 09:23

Oh, were you angry?

Santa Claus: 09:25

Well, honestly, no. I no. No. I was I I laughed. You know?

Santa Claus: 09:31

The elves can yeah. The the elves can be very entertaining. You know? Did you know every New Year's Eve, the elves put on an awesome talent show.

Merry: 09:40

A talent

Cathy: 09:41

show. Wow.

Merry: 09:42

That sounds like a lot of fun. How did do they get into it?

Santa Claus: 09:46

Yes. Oh, yes. Well, sometimes too much, like like like everything they do. Frankly, I I dread the chaos that that it brings.

Merry: 09:55

Like what?

Santa Claus: 09:57

Well, once once they all juggled flaming candy canes, and they set off the fire sprinklers. Water came down in the workshop from everywhere. Everywhere. Water. Water.

Santa Claus: 10:09

Where's my hat? My hat. My hat can't go off

Cathy: 10:15

without me. Oh, Santa, don't stress out. Oh, really? Oh, that hat looks good

Merry: 10:20

on you. Santa.

Cathy: 10:20

Oh, that's a little bit of a problem. Santa.

Santa Claus: 10:38

Made my hat disappear. And that

Cathy: 10:40

was that

Merry: 10:41

was horrible.

Santa Claus: 10:41

That was horrible. I couldn't go on without my hat. Children didn't recognize me.

Cathy: 10:46

I know. I know. Our audience is gonna have trouble recognizing me.

Santa Claus: 10:49

You oh, well, that that that that does happen. It does happen. Now there was another time another time when the elves when the elves did their grand finale, you know? Their grand finale, every year, same thing. A catapult throws an elf across the room, sometimes more than one.

Santa Claus: 11:09

Who's there to catch them? Who's there to catch them? If I don't, nobody does. And then what? I can't afford to lose a lose another worker.

Santa Claus: 11:18

We have a lot of gifts to make every year. I

Cathy: 11:20

wanna ask you about the gifts. Do you give more gifts to children or adults?

Santa Claus: 11:26

Children. Children.

Cathy: 11:27

Well, do the kids ask for things that are hard or easy to give them?

Santa Claus: 11:31

Well, every year, a little boy or a little girl wants a pony. Oh. It's, yeah, it's very hard to fly discreetly when delivering a horse. Uh-huh. And and you can lead a horse to water, but try to get him down a chimney.

Santa Claus: 11:47

Very difficult. Very difficult. Let me tell you.

Merry: 11:50

Well, if if they ask for a horse, is there any way to get out of it?

Santa Claus: 11:55

I can't just say nay.

Merry: 11:58

Of course not.

Santa Claus: 12:00

Sandy's job is to grant kids wishes. It's just that sometimes it's harder than other times. For example, one little boy wanted a lifetime supply of spaghetti. A few years ago, there was a kid who asked for a trampoline. I had to hire a civil engineer to figure out how to fit it into a stocking.

Santa Claus: 12:21

Oh. And and then when I tried to deliver it, it got stuck in the chimney.

Cathy: 12:25

That way, what did you do?

Santa Claus: 12:27

Well, I I lost too much time trying to push it down, so I did the rest of my deliveries, and then I doubled back to finish the job. But when I jumped down the chimney to do it, I landed on the trampoline, and I bounced way up into the sky, way way way up, hopping away.

Cathy: 12:45

You must have been shocked. Oh, I was.

Santa Claus: 12:48

I was. I yelled, ho ho, no.

Cathy: 12:52

Oh, did anyone see you?

Santa Claus: 12:55

The reindeer. The reindeer. They they laughed their snouts off. And they've been telling that story at Christmas parties ever since.

Merry: 13:03

Oh, I bet you have, but they should give you a little more respect.

Santa Claus: 13:06

They're very difficult. Very difficult. High maintenance. Rudolph takes selfies while flying. Donner and Blitzer play pranks on me all the time, like, hiding my sleigh bells.

Santa Claus: 13:19

One time, Dasher stopped pulling entirely because Prancer wouldn't share his carrot. Oh. We nearly stalled over the Pacific Ocean. Oh. But I wasn't wearing my wet suit.

Santa Claus: 13:30

Does this look like a wet suit?

Cathy: 13:32

No. It's not.

Merry: 13:34

I don't think so. They don't appreciate

Santa Claus: 13:39

It's not. I don't think so. They don't appreciate how tough your job is. Do they, Santa? Yes.

Santa Claus: 13:40

It is. Yes. It is. It's very hard. Keeping track of billions of children is exhausting.

Santa Claus: 13:46

I I wish there were an app for it. Yeah. It it would it would organize the naughty and nice list automatically with reminders, like like like Billy apologized to his sister, move him to nice or or, Ella. Ella gave her teacher a glitter bomb. Put her on naughty.

Santa Claus: 14:07

Yeah. So far, my only automation is Waze, and it and believe me, it takes forever to input the addresses of all the chimneys. And missus Santa always argues with me. She always argues with with me when I'm listening to ways. She thinks she knows a better route.

Santa Claus: 14:24

And then I tell her, be quiet so I can listen to ways. And then she says, I'm siding against her. Can't win. You can't win.

Merry: 14:35

Oh, Santa. I'm sorry to hear all of this, but, you know, I think you were having a lot of fun at the Macy's Thanksgiving parade. I saw you, and you were having you were on the very last float, and you were waving and smiling, and you looked quite happy.

Santa Claus: 14:50

Yes. Yes. Yes. I love yes. I love to I love to take that float down 5th Avenue.

Merry: 14:55

Well, there you go. And what do you like the most about it?

Santa Claus: 14:59

It's safer than the subway.

Merry: 15:01

Oh, no. I thought you were going to say that you like seeing all the kids who line up the streets to wave to you.

Santa Claus: 15:08

Yes. Yes. I enjoy seeing them in crowds. It's it's easier than when they're on my lap. I'll tell you.

Santa Claus: 15:15

You know, kids today are getting bigger and bigger. Oh. By which I mean, they're getting fatter and fatter. Some of these kids are fatter than me. Oh.

Santa Claus: 15:24

They're so fat, I had to buy a cushion to sit on so my fanny wouldn't hurt so much. Mhmm. One little boy asked me if the cushion was for my hemorrhoids. I put his name on the naughty list. I sure did.

Santa Claus: 15:40

You betcha.

Cathy: 15:42

Well, then something should be done about that. Maybe you should ask parents to encourage their children to write letters to Santa instead of face to face meetings.

Santa Claus: 15:51

They can't write me letters because they can't spell. I ask them, what grade are you in sunny? And they answer, sophomore at USC. What can you do? Oh,

Merry: 16:05

is your naughty list getting longer or shorter in the past few years?

Santa Claus: 16:10

Longer. Absolutely. Yes. Yes. There are some kids who stay up all night on Christmas Eve trying to catch me.

Santa Claus: 16:18

I've I've had to hide behind couches and under tables and even in a coat closet. One time, a little boy set up a motion sensor camera, and I had to perform my gift drop while doing a duck and roll. Another time, a cute little fella rigged a net to fall from the ceiling to catch me. And I got stuck for 10 minutes. 10 minutes while the family's parrot was screaming,

Cathy: 16:46

intruder, intruder.

Santa Claus: 16:50

And then there was this little girl who put glitter bombs in the Christmas stockings that were hanging from the chimney.

Cathy: 16:56

Oh.

Santa Claus: 16:56

I sparkled for weeks. And the reindeer are still cleaning cleaning sparkle out of their fur to this day.

Cathy: 17:05

That's naughty. That's naughty. Christmas stockings, though. I love to see Christmas stockings hanging from a chimney. It's such a nice look.

Cathy: 17:14

It's traditional.

Santa Claus: 17:16

Well, yes. Well but there's there's this one family that made a stocking big enough to fit a refrigerator. Yes. Oh. I get there I get there holding a yo yo, wondering how to explain to their kid why the stocking wasn't full.

Santa Claus: 17:29

Yep.

Cathy: 17:30

Well, it was the parents' fault. So let them do the explaining. Speaking of parents, they ask you for presents too. Right?

Santa Claus: 17:39

Yes. Yes. They do. Yes. Parent parents, do ask me for presents, and they can be as bad as their kids.

Santa Claus: 17:48

One mom asked me if I could make her children stop bickering for a year. Who? Who can do that? There was a dad. There was a dad who wanted a full head of hair.

Santa Claus: 18:01

And then and another dad asked for more episodes of Yellowstone. And his note to Santa said, if you can't give me the episodes, can you just give me Beth? Oh. Yeah. Right.

Santa Claus: 18:14

That was that's that's that's the sexy woman that's on Yellowstone. Love it. Well, here at the North Pole, we watch it all the time. You're always but there are some gifts that even Santa can't give. I'll tell you.

Merry: 18:26

Yeah. I guess so. It seems like parents can be more trouble than their kids. Is that the case, Santa?

Santa Claus: 18:32

Yes. Well, they don't they don't necessarily mean to be, but yes. Yes. For example, some families go all out with their decorations, but they don't realize that a laser light show on the roof can blind Santa as he's trying to land the sleigh. Uh-huh.

Santa Claus: 18:48

And I've also gotten tangled up in those motion activated lights that flash jingle bells jingle bells. 1 year, I accidentally walked in on a couple arguing whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie. People know that I like cookies and milk, but some adults get on a health kick for themselves, and they leave me celery sticks or kale smoothies. Oh. Yeah.

Santa Claus: 19:15

Kale. Oh, I hate that green stuff. Once someone left me a plate of sushi, and I had to feed it to the reindeer to avoid offending the family. Santa. Why did

Cathy: 19:28

you bother? Why? Santa. A lot of a lot of families have dogs.

Santa Claus: 19:31

Yeah. A lot of

Cathy: 19:32

dogs are watchdogs, or they think they're watchdogs.

Santa Claus: 19:35

Mhmm.

Cathy: 19:35

Do dogs give you problems?

Santa Claus: 19:38

There goes. Not as many problems as my hat.

Cathy: 19:42

Aw. Phantom. Aw.

Santa Claus: 19:46

I have no problems with dogs normally. Normally. It's the invisible fences that give me trouble. Oh. I I can't see them.

Santa Claus: 19:54

They're invisible. So every year, I accidentally walk right through 1. The fence sends signals to the dog collars, and the dog collars go, and the dog start yapping. Couple years ago, I I had a pack of chihuahuas that chased me off a roof, half a mile down, yapping all the way. Well, it just got discovered.

Santa Claus: 20:16

Yes. Yes.

Cathy: 20:17

Most of us really don't realize how difficult your job can be. That's so stressful

Santa Claus: 20:23

too. Mhmm. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Santa Claus: 20:26

But, you know, it's it's not as stressful as being human. It's not as stressful. You guys have it rough. Being a real person on planet Earth, you have it a lot harder than me. I know it.

Santa Claus: 20:37

I know it. You get more stressed. So remember that this is a season for love and cheer. The holidays are for family, good times, good food, and good friends. So Kathy and Mary, and all you naughty and nice people out there, merry Christmas.

Santa Claus: 21:02

Merry Christmas. Bye bye.

Merry: 21:08

Merry Christmas, Santa.

Cathy: 21:20

Thank you for joining us on Late Boomers, The podcast that is your guide to creating a 3rd act with style, power, and impact. Please visit our website and get in touch with us at lateboomers.biz. If you would like to listen to or download other episodes of Late Boomers, go to ewnpodcast We

Merry: 21:43

hope We hope you make use of the wisdom you've gained here and that you enjoy a successful third act with your own style, power, and impact.